Boise Men's Psychotherapist Blog

  This entry was posted on Thursday, February 7th, 2019 at 11:15 pm Who am I to argue with a Navy Seal, especially when that Navy Seal has clarity.

  This entry was posted on Friday, February 1st, 2019 at 3:29 pm Guys, I don’t know about you, but being a Dad is hard…….at least for me. One of the most consistent challenges that so many of the men I work with face, isolation. Whether due to a lack of effort (“I don’t need any help”), lack of know-how, lack of knowledge, or lack of whatever, so many men face the struggle of how to be a good Dad with limited resources. I wanted to share a group that I believe provides so much support and guidance to like-minded Dads. I have provided a link below, check it out. If you would like more info, email Larry Hagner……..you can even let him know you found out about it here. I believe in what Larry is doing for so many men, and his group works hard to make a huge community, much smaller. About

  This entry was posted on Sunday, January 27th, 2019 at 7:09 pm For some of you, you may know that jiu-jitsu is a huge part of my personal life. Quite truthfully, I am not sure that I have ever come across something that has had such a significant effect on me personally. Thus, the reason I mention it. The secret to BJJ is simple, just keep showing up. I have never come across something that was so similar to life. Life is hard. Life kicks you in the gut a lot. Life can beat you down to the point where you forget what it is like to see anything positive. When you start jiu-jitsu, it is similar. Jiu-jitsu is hard when you start out. You are careless, reckless, emotional, short sighted…. but, over time you learn to slow down, not allowing the emotions to take over quite as easily, not allow the quitter inside of us take over (at least that’s how it can be for me). Everyday that “you just show up”, you are challenged. You will not be good for awhile (would rather be honest about that...

  This entry was posted on Wednesday, January 16th, 2019 at 5:49 pm Today’s blog is a follow-up to one of my last blogs entitled, “Wait, I thought $$$$ brought happiness…. not high SUICIDE rates?” ( http://www.ryancragg.org/2019/01/08/wait-i-thought-brought-happiness-not-high-suicide-rates/ ) As I mentioned in the last blog, how could people be challenged with some of the highest suicide rates, while also living in one of the Top 10 Places to Live in the Country. This question has left me pondering, and thus I reached out to others for their thoughts.  Today, I want to reframe the question to pose the other side of the challenge, “How do we create more resiliency in our kids.” I believe that this is the more important question. As a kid, I was a whiner. I can admit that now. I threw temper tantrums, I got irate, I became self-centered, and most importantly……I failed to know real perseverance. When I say perseverance, I mean facing real struggle and the ability to continue to m...

  This entry was posted on Friday, January 11th, 2019 at 3:19 pm 2018 was the most fulfilling year of my life, professionally…. which, strangely enough, had a role in my mental state and ability to handle adversity slightly better. Actually though, it started in 2017. I had one of those jobs that, on paper, was good, but for some reason I had lost the ability (or willingness is probably more accurate) to see the good things. In 2017 I was stuck. I had a good job, had a lot of good things about it, but I was really struggling to see any of them. I ended up doing something that does not come easy, or natural, to me. I started to notice that there were some days when I had a bit more pep in my step when I left work, like a high. Initially I chocked it up to excuses and not looking at it pragmatically…. but then I started to really take notice. What I discovered was that there were parts of the job that on certain days, due to certain circumstances, left me feeling fulfilled, which in ...

  This entry was posted on Tuesday, January 8th, 2019 at 9:56 pm In the last 14 years I have moved approximately 10 times. In no way did I ever imagine I would move 10 times, but with work and, well, life, these things happen. Because of the abundance of moves, I have gotten proficient at finding what is good/bad about certain areas, where are the best schools, jobs, etc. When my wife and I found out that we were moving to KC I had approximately 10 months to find out all I could about the area so that we could make the most informed decision on where to move. Through copious amounts of research, we landed on Overland Park, which at the time was in the top 10 places to live in the country. (Side note, this whole MO vs KS thing is very real.) For us, it was a no brainer – great schools, relatively low crime, good jobs, nice housing, etc. Now, 3+ years into living in Overland Park, I am struck with the question, “why are so many young people struggling in an area that offers everythin...

  This entry was posted on Wednesday, January 2nd, 2019 at 12:08 am Ahhhhh, January 1 st , that time of year when we decide we are going to make some changes (“I’m going to get in shape this year!!”). The time of year when the gym has their sales people essentially sitting at the front door because they know that memberships are going to skyrocket. At the age of 43 now, my goals have shifted a bit and have become more realistic. Here’s the thing, so many of the goals we put out there are simply not realistic, meaning when we fall off it simply contributes to those crappy   feelings / beliefs we may already have. So, instead of setting some goals that are not likely to be achieved, lets look at this whole thing more pragmatically. This year, my challenge to you is to make goals that are S.M.A.R.T. S – Specific M – Measurable A – Attainable (or achievable) R – Realistic T – Time-Sensitive For the sake of transparency, I’m going to share some of the goals I am seeking to attain i...