Boise Men's Psychotherapist Blog

  This entry was posted on Tuesday, April 9th, 2019 at 6:07 pm I had the privilege of doing something yesterday, stepping directly into my own personal chaos. Now I know that sounds strange, so let me explain. For the second time in the past six months, I went and did a “float”. For those that are not familiar, a float is an experience where you go into a pod or a room and float. It sounds crazy / strange, I completely recognize that. When I say that I am stepping directly into my own personal chaos, I mean specifically my own anxiety. Anxiety, for those that are unaware, shows itself in many different ways and certainly in many different situations. For me, stepping into the chaos is the idea of purposefully putting myself into a situation where I have to focus on the anxiety in order to get through it. We think in pictures; we don’t think in words…….so let me paint a picture. If you have ever seen the Bourne Identify movies, you may remember the first movie where Jason Bourne is ...

  This entry was posted on Thursday, March 21st, 2019 at 6:35 pm I wonder when Can’t / Always / Never became an active part of our vernacular. If I could simply wipe those words completely from my language, I believe that the challenges that I face in my life would look vastly different. In my house when I hear my kids say “I can’t………”, I immediately respond with something to the effect of, “don’t say can’t”. This is great until I am faced with an adversity, struggling mightily, on the verge of letting out an expletive filled tirade, only to become exasperated and overwhelmed with “I CAN’T…………!!!!!!!!”. Great parenting, huh!? What I think we lose sight of is how much power we give to our words. One of the key details in the work I get to do with clients is accurately identifying words. Here is an example, simply saying I am frustrated might not be accurate. Hear me out. Yes, you may feel frustrated, but are you really discouraged, defeated, let down, which in turn is contributing t...

  This entry was posted on Thursday, March 14th, 2019 at 5:41 pm The greatest athlete I have ever seen was Michael Jordan. As a kid we were limited to the number of channels that we had on the TV, compared to today. One of the channels was WGN out of Chicago, which played every Bulls game. Because of this, I had an incredibly rich experience of watching the greatest basketball player that ever played. More than that, I might’ve seen the greatest mental fortitude of any athlete ever (subjective debate). So, what made Michael so great? Many people will debate the fact that Michael Jordan was the greatest ever because of he thought differently and performed differently. Hard to argue with that view, but I would counter that with the thought, “maybe people like Michael don’t necessarily think differently, they simply don’t think as much.” Now here me out. In my experience working with athletes, the great ones simply don’t think. What do I mean by this? I mean, it’s the absence of thoug...

  This entry was posted on Thursday, February 28th, 2019 at 6:43 pm As a kid I struggled mightily with the deeply held belief that I was stupid. As you can imagine, going through school was a real challenge when you have this deeply held belief, because, well, there are so many reinforcers……..especially when you are always on the lookout for them. Looking back, I recognize now that much of my internal struggle came from a lack of training and education in my limited executive functioning abilities. It would’ve been these abilities that could’ve saved me a great deal of heartache, strife, discouragement, etc. So, what are executive functioning skills? Our Webster’s Dictionary for 2019 (aka Wikipedia) would state:   “Executive functions are a set of  cognitive processes  that are necessary for the cognitive control of  behavior : selecting and successfully monitoring behaviors that facilitate the attainment of chosen goals.”  Huh? 1) What are cognitive p...

  This entry was posted on Wednesday, February 13th, 2019 at 4:14 pm How many of us want to change? Or, lets be honest, how many of us say we want things to change……..from the comfort of our couch and yet don’t do anything to sustain that change. In order to make real change, you have to put movement towards it. Change is a verb, meaning, if I want something to change, I have to be willing to make steps towards the change I am seeking. Inaccurate/False thinking: Change is motivated by FEAR and the strongest force for change is crisis, which creates the greatest fear Three Keys to lasting change (i.e. new hope, new skills, new thinking) RELATE You form a new, emotional relationship with a person or community that inspires and sustains hope If you face a situation that a reasonable person would consider “hopeless”, you need the influence of seemingly “unreasonable” people to restore your hope – to make you believe that you can change and expect that you will change REPEAT The new rel...