Boise Men's Psychotherapist Blog

  This entry was posted on Friday, January 11th, 2019 at 3:19 pm 2018 was the most fulfilling year of my life, professionally…. which, strangely enough, had a role in my mental state and ability to handle adversity slightly better. Actually though, it started in 2017. I had one of those jobs that, on paper, was good, but for some reason I had lost the ability (or willingness is probably more accurate) to see the good things. In 2017 I was stuck. I had a good job, had a lot of good things about it, but I was really struggling to see any of them. I ended up doing something that does not come easy, or natural, to me. I started to notice that there were some days when I had a bit more pep in my step when I left work, like a high. Initially I chocked it up to excuses and not looking at it pragmatically…. but then I started to really take notice. What I discovered was that there were parts of the job that on certain days, due to certain circumstances, left me feeling fulfilled, which in ...

  This entry was posted on Tuesday, January 8th, 2019 at 9:56 pm In the last 14 years I have moved approximately 10 times. In no way did I ever imagine I would move 10 times, but with work and, well, life, these things happen. Because of the abundance of moves, I have gotten proficient at finding what is good/bad about certain areas, where are the best schools, jobs, etc. When my wife and I found out that we were moving to KC I had approximately 10 months to find out all I could about the area so that we could make the most informed decision on where to move. Through copious amounts of research, we landed on Overland Park, which at the time was in the top 10 places to live in the country. (Side note, this whole MO vs KS thing is very real.) For us, it was a no brainer – great schools, relatively low crime, good jobs, nice housing, etc. Now, 3+ years into living in Overland Park, I am struck with the question, “why are so many young people struggling in an area that offers everythin...

  This entry was posted on Wednesday, January 2nd, 2019 at 12:08 am Ahhhhh, January 1 st , that time of year when we decide we are going to make some changes (“I’m going to get in shape this year!!”). The time of year when the gym has their sales people essentially sitting at the front door because they know that memberships are going to skyrocket. At the age of 43 now, my goals have shifted a bit and have become more realistic. Here’s the thing, so many of the goals we put out there are simply not realistic, meaning when we fall off it simply contributes to those crappy   feelings / beliefs we may already have. So, instead of setting some goals that are not likely to be achieved, lets look at this whole thing more pragmatically. This year, my challenge to you is to make goals that are S.M.A.R.T. S – Specific M – Measurable A – Attainable (or achievable) R – Realistic T – Time-Sensitive For the sake of transparency, I’m going to share some of the goals I am seeking to attain i...

  This entry was posted on Monday, December 17th, 2018 at 6:22 pm When I think of what it takes to move forward through real personal struggle, this is what jumps out at me in regards to what it takes to move past my current condition. Personally, I think of therapy as a little bit about the past, a little bit about the present, and then you get to define what your future looks like. My thoughts, in short: Ruthless Honesty to Self You can make excuses all you want, you can lie to your family, you can lie to friends/acquaintances, you can lie to everybody else, but you still have to look yourself in the mirror and know that you’re making excuses. You can’t run from the person in the mirror looking back at you. Get up off of your butt We all want things to change (or let’s be honest, get better). Most of us are great about talking about change, but talking about it from the comfort of our couch. You want things to change in your life, then get up off of your butt. Change is a verb, s...

  This entry was posted on Thursday, December 6th, 2018 at 3:14 pm I’m not exactly sure when it started, but at an early age, from time to time, I had this image of my funeral and wondered if anyone would be there. I recognize that this is a bit of a dark thought, but it is reality. When I was younger and struggling deeply, I would imagine my mom standing over my grave, heartbroken. The picture in my minds eye of my mom weeping would absolutely destroy my insides, leaving me weeping outwardly. Quite truthfully, in my darkest times, it was this minds eye picture that would barely push me to push through. As I listened to this video ( https://youtu.be/2fG1AWTZrE0 ) this morning, I was reminded of my own death and what it will look like. When I watched and listened to George W talk about George HW I was deeply moved, more than anything at the end when a son was overcome with the deep emotion and welling of love that is now gone. We should all be so lucky. We should all be so lucky to ...

  This entry was posted on Monday, December 3rd, 2018 at 6:28 pm As someone that has battled with depressive tendencies, I think that Johann Hari’s thoughts are interesting and unique. I will say that he is not a clinician, which I think is a good thing in that he gives perspective from his own experiences. Is everything you think you know about depression wrong?

  This entry was posted on Wednesday, November 28th, 2018 at 3:36 pm It was in the early morning of February 2006 when my wife and I got up thinking that it was going be like most Saturday mornings. On this particular Saturday it was no different, aside from the overcast and cold conditions outside, which was somewhat odd for Atlanta.  After our daily routine of coffee making, we turned the television on and came across the news of the Coretta Scott King’s passing and viewing that would be held on this day. We had both heard about Mrs. King throughout the week, as she had recently passed away. As we sat watching the news, my wife looked at me and said quite unabashedly, “let’s go!” Quite honestly, my first reaction was hesitation and resistance, but then minutes later, on a whim we were off to the viewing.  It was strange, but we both had this giddy excitement as we were driving to go see a dead body.  Upon arriving, the weather had gotten worse with the wind blowing...