(ALL) How Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu has made me look at life differently

I heard the Director Guy Ritchie say this one time about Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu and it stuck. “In BJJ your only currency is on the mat. No one cares how much money you make, how successful you are, its simply the currency that you reveal on the mat.”

To this day, BJJ is still the best thing I ever did for my own mental health. Here is a breakdown from a friend, of what he has learned through this process and how it has helped in so many other areas of his life.

 

7 things I learned on my road to a BJJ black belt

On December 21, I was promoted to a black belt in Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu. Now that the dust has settled a bit and I’ve had some time to reflect, I wanted to share with you 7 things I learned about life from reaching this milestone.

Even if you’re not into martial arts, I want to encourage you to read this article anyway because the principles transcend every aspect of life.

7 things I learned on my road to a BJJ black belt

Earning my Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu (BJJ) black belt is one of the greatest accomplishments of my life. But probably not for the reasons you think (more to come on this….).

Only 1% of people who start BJJ ever reach black belt. BJJ has such a low stick-rate because it’s so difficult. It’s unlike any other martial art in how physically and mentally challenging it is.

But the things I’ve learned along the way through this sport about life….these are the real diamonds, and why they matter for every man is what I want to share with you today.

And if you’re a woman reading this, consider these elements for your husband or sons.

1. Consistency Precedes Talent

Most people who start BJJ quit long before they see any real progress. The secret? Just show up. Everyday. And watch things transform. The willingness to keep showing up even when it’s inconvenient or unrewarding—is what separates the 1% from the rest.

In life, we often overestimate the importance of talent and underestimate the power of consistency. Whether it’s in your career, your marriage, or your fitness, just showing up is the cheat code for long-term success.

2. Discipline is the Gateway to Freedom

To get a black belt, you can’t train only when you feel like it. There are early mornings, late nights, injuries, and days when you’d rather do anything else. Discipline is about understanding that sacrifice is the price of freedom.

The same principle applies to life. Discipline with your health gives you the freedom of vitality. Discipline in your finances gives you freedom from stress. Discipline in your relationships creates deeper, more meaningful connections.

3. Your Ego is the Silent Saboteur

BJJ humbles everyone. You’ll get submitted by people smaller, younger, or less experienced than you. The mat doesn’t care about your pride. The mat doesn’t lie. The mat always tells the truth. Learning to embrace humility is one of the greatest gifts of the journey.

In BJJ, you will lose—a lot. You’ll get submitted, injured, and mentally exhausted. But each time you get back on the mat, you become a little tougher, a little wiser, and your ego is a little less fragile.

As men, we often let ego drive our decisions, whether it’s refusing to ask for help or needing to win every argument. But true strength comes from humility—from admitting when you’re wrong, to asking for help, to knowing that you’re not always the top-dog.

4. Suffering is Necessary for Maturity

Every stripe, every belt promotion in BJJ comes at a cost. I have felt like a beginner over and over again. I’ve been sore, frustrated, and on the verge of quitting more times than I can count.

In our modern age, we’ve been conditioned to avoid suffering at all costs. We chase comfort, convenience, and instant gratification. At the slightest sign of discomfort, most men turn the other way.

Yet this avoidance of healthy suffering is why so many men suffer in truly grave ways. True maturity requires voluntarily stepping into discomfort. BJJ is a practice in voluntary suffering—a sanctification process that will show you parts of yourself that need refinement that you cannot see until you’re in the suffering

In life, if you’re too comfortable, you’re not growing and maturing. Lean into the discomfort. Learn to love the suffering. It’s the very thing needed to chisel off those ugly parts of you.

5. Meaningful Success is Always a Long-Game

In BJJ there are no shortcuts, and you’ll experience plateaus where progress seems nonexistent. There are no quick 3-step superficial solutions. There is only hour after hour on the mat, grinding, building muscle memory.

This is true for anything meaningful in life. In our modern era where every man is looking for a shortcut, only to find himself back at square one, there is timeless wisdom in embracing the long-game.

We live in an era of toxic thinking promoted by toxic people that if it’s taking too long, it must not be working. This couldn’t be further from the truth.

Whether you’re building a business, trying to improve your marriage, or working toward ambitious goals, the journey will be long and hard. Learn to fall in love with the process, not just the result.

6. The Right Community is Everything

No one earns a black belt alone.

One of the most beautiful aspects of BJJ is the brotherhood (and sisterhood) on the mat. The people you train with become your extended family. They push you just to the edge of your abilities, and slightly beyond. They encourage you when you’re feeling defeated, and they ask you where you’ve been if you don’t show up.

One minute we’re trying to kill each other, and the next minute we’re sharing laughs about life. This strange dichotomy is what makes BJJ special and the whole thing wouldn’t exist without the community.

As men, we often try to go through life alone, like a badge of honor hunkering down in isolation. But surrounding yourself with a community—men who challenge you, support you, and inspire you—is critical for manhood.

7. Mentorship is Indispensable for Being the Best

Along my journey to black belt, I had incredible teachers and mentors who guided me, challenged me, taught me, and believed in me when I doubted myself. They pushed me past my limits and taught me lessons I couldn’t have learned on my own.

I wouldn’t have gotten here without them.

They taught me battle-tested secrets. They showed me wisdom I could have never uncovered on my own.

These teachers fast-tracked my success.

As men, we often think we need to figure everything out by ourselves. But something so much better happens when we allow others to guide us. Whether it’s in BJJ, business, or life, mentorship accelerates your progress and to not access it is only to your own detriment. If you want to be the best in anything, find a coach, listen to their wisdom, and let them help you rise to your potential.