Boise Men's Psychotherapist Blog

  This entry was posted on Friday, January 11th, 2019 at 3:19 pm 2018 was the most fulfilling year of my life, professionally…. which, strangely enough, had a role in my mental state and ability to handle adversity slightly better. Actually though, it started in 2017. I had one of those jobs that, on paper, was good, but for some reason I had lost the ability (or willingness is probably more accurate) to see the good things. In 2017 I was stuck. I had a good job, had a lot of good things about it, but I was really struggling to see any of them. I ended up doing something that does not come easy, or natural, to me. I started to notice that there were some days when I had a bit more pep in my step when I left work, like a high. Initially I chocked it up to excuses and not looking at it pragmatically…. but then I started to really take notice. What I discovered was that there were parts of the job that on certain days, due to certain circumstances, left me feeling fulfilled, which in ...

  This entry was posted on Tuesday, January 8th, 2019 at 9:56 pm In the last 14 years I have moved approximately 10 times. In no way did I ever imagine I would move 10 times, but with work and, well, life, these things happen. Because of the abundance of moves, I have gotten proficient at finding what is good/bad about certain areas, where are the best schools, jobs, etc. When my wife and I found out that we were moving to KC I had approximately 10 months to find out all I could about the area so that we could make the most informed decision on where to move. Through copious amounts of research, we landed on Overland Park, which at the time was in the top 10 places to live in the country. (Side note, this whole MO vs KS thing is very real.) For us, it was a no brainer – great schools, relatively low crime, good jobs, nice housing, etc. Now, 3+ years into living in Overland Park, I am struck with the question, “why are so many young people struggling in an area that offers everythin...

  This entry was posted on Wednesday, January 2nd, 2019 at 12:08 am Ahhhhh, January 1 st , that time of year when we decide we are going to make some changes (“I’m going to get in shape this year!!”). The time of year when the gym has their sales people essentially sitting at the front door because they know that memberships are going to skyrocket. At the age of 43 now, my goals have shifted a bit and have become more realistic. Here’s the thing, so many of the goals we put out there are simply not realistic, meaning when we fall off it simply contributes to those crappy   feelings / beliefs we may already have. So, instead of setting some goals that are not likely to be achieved, lets look at this whole thing more pragmatically. This year, my challenge to you is to make goals that are S.M.A.R.T. S – Specific M – Measurable A – Attainable (or achievable) R – Realistic T – Time-Sensitive For the sake of transparency, I’m going to share some of the goals I am seeking to attain i...

  This entry was posted on Monday, December 17th, 2018 at 6:22 pm When I think of what it takes to move forward through real personal struggle, this is what jumps out at me in regards to what it takes to move past my current condition. Personally, I think of therapy as a little bit about the past, a little bit about the present, and then you get to define what your future looks like. My thoughts, in short: Ruthless Honesty to Self You can make excuses all you want, you can lie to your family, you can lie to friends/acquaintances, you can lie to everybody else, but you still have to look yourself in the mirror and know that you’re making excuses. You can’t run from the person in the mirror looking back at you. Get up off of your butt We all want things to change (or let’s be honest, get better). Most of us are great about talking about change, but talking about it from the comfort of our couch. You want things to change in your life, then get up off of your butt. Change is a verb, s...